Fearful

Hey and welcome to 'diaryofanoverthinker'.Today I’ll be talking about none other than Lauren Roberts’ newest release, Fearful. Before I dive in, I just want to apologise for not posting any book content lately — I’ve been in a massive reading slump. But I finally broke out of it, thanks to Fearful, and now I’m ready to share every single thought I have about this book. So if you haven’t read it yet, do not keep reading, because this is going to include a LOT of spoilers.

Lenny and Blaire

’m going to start with the least hectic part of this book — Lenny and Blaire. I can’t say I didn’t see that duo coming after Fearless, but I definitely didn’t expect it to be in Fearful, especially since I was mainly reading for our mad king, Kitt.

That being said, I absolutely LOVED every single Lenny and Blaire moment. I honestly didn’t expect to like, let alone relate to, Blaire’s character — and yet, Lauren made it happen. I mean, I still hate that she killed Adena, but I understand why she did it… and I’d be lying if I said I haven’t forgiven her. I also feel like if Paedyn knew Blaire’s side of the story, it would still hurt, but she might hate her a little less.

I also really loved how we got to see more of Lenny — learning about his ability and watching it develop was such a highlight. Both he and Blaire are incredible characters, and I’m so glad we got more of them in this book. That said, I need another book focused entirely on them — but from their POVs this time. As much as I adored Mara’s POV and her commentary on their story, I’d love to hear what Blaire’s head actually sounds like... and Lenny’s too (but mostlyBlaire’s).

Mara

Okay, I love love love Mara’s character — like, omg she is just so amazing. This is honestly the first time I’ve enjoyed the girl’s POV more than the guy’s in a fantasy book, and that’s saying a lot. But seriously, I need a backstory. While I’m obsessed with all the theories online — especially the idea that she might be the first Queen — I need confirmation from Lauren because I am not ready to say goodbye to Ilya, let alone Mara and the Mors.

I’ve been loving @nattillavani’s content on this book, and her theory about Mara possibly being the first queen of Ilya, Mareena, is so good. It makes so much sense — especially since Mara kept saying Kitt reminded her of someone, and there was clearly a reason she didn’t want to return to Ilya I mean she even said "you're the best the Azer line has to offer. I would know". Not to mention the fact she was buried alone. Like, just go watch Nattilla’s video on “Who Was Mara?” — it's mind-blowing.But if Mara is the Queen then like she's like Kitt's great great great grandmother or something and that's hella weird but then again after Fearless Lauren might make everyone related to Kitt. Also side note the whole Mara liking Kitt because he reminds her of someone seriously reminded me of Miss Pergrines Home For Peculiar Children and like Jake and Emma.

Mara is honestly one of the best characters I’ve ever read about. I adored her so much. And the fact that she was present throughout Fearless and we didn’t even know? That detail was absolutely wild. Ugh, Fearful was just everything.

Kitt Azer

Now, let’s talk about the real reason I picked up this book — Kitt. I’ve been a Kitt supporter since Powerless (okay, I slightly faltered in Reckless, but I was so back in Fearless). Even in Reckless, I was confused because there was no way Kitt just changed out of nowhere. His epilogue in Powerless kind of hinted something was coming (I swear, it’s always the Kitt epilogues that hit the hardest).

Either way, I love Kitt. I always felt like he had his reasons, and in Fearless, especially during his moments of shame, I genuinely felt bad for him — and that just made me love his character even more. This book finally clarified so much — like, the man was literally dying, losing his memory, and still, all he cared about was reconnecting with his brother. That broke me.

I also felt for him so deeply because he was just trying to be better than his father — someone who had only ever made him feel weak. That inner battle added such depth to his character. And those last few chapters? The way his memory was slipping, how everything was just patchy and unclear — it was written so well. One of my favourite parts was the writing scenes — the desperation in them, the need to record everything.

And get this — just yesterday, my English teacher was telling us about Shakespeare and how he supposedly wrote Romeo and Juliet in just three hours. That led to a conversation about how people who are slightly unwell or mentally unraveling often just write and write and write — and I immediately thought of Kitt. It made that part of his story hit even harder.

Kitt’s character has so much depth, and honestly, I’ll never understand the people who still hate on him — especially after these last two books. He’s exactly the kind of character people claim they want: complicated, broken, layered, emotional — and yet, the second they actually get a character like that, they turn on him. Except for the few of us who actually appreciate that depth and know how rare it is.

I need more books about Kitt. Don’t get me wrong — Paedyn and Kai were amazing in their own right, but they just didn’t have the same emotional complexity. If you’ve read any of my other blogs, you know I gravitate toward characters with the most insane, tragic, or chaotic backstories — characters like Lizzie Young. And Kitt? He fits that category perfectly.

The bonus chapter

So after finding out that Kai had a bonus chapter in the audiobook, I obviously had to go listen to it — and WHAT THE HELL?! Is he going crazy too? Is he following in Kitt’s footsteps? Is he dying? Why is he writing letters and talking about not being there to watch Kit grow, and about fighting death for as long as possible? WHAT is happening?

And then there’s the epilogue (seriously, always the epilogue) — Kai could see Kitt, who is now basically death itself and, from what I understand, kind of like Mara. So why could Kai see him? I am beyond confused, freaked out, and screaming. I NEED another book, I need answers, I need somethingggg.

So as you can see fearful both took me out of a reading slump and drove me insane just like all of Laurens books. I seriously need a new book ASAP. Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed this blog and I hope you are all fellow Kitt lovers because how could you hate him??Now I'm going to go and try to not go as crazy as Kitt.

Until next time

Byeee<333