Who We Are vs Who We Want to Be

We all act a certain way but are we actually that way or is it an illusion? Hiii and welcome back to diary of an over thinker. Today I’ll be diving into a topic that I don’t think we think about often ……unless you’re a fellow over thinker than you might have. So sit back, relax and enjoy.

Part one : who are you?

As teenagers or pre teens basically from around the ages 11 up you start caring about what others think of you. Sometimes you even get obsessed and it’s ok just don’t get to obsessed and ruin your whole life. Caring what others think of you is good as it makes you conscious of what you do or say. While it’s good it’s only good till a certain point that point is when you start changing who you are. Now we’ve all been there, it’s that point in your life that you realise you have no idea who you are because you act different around everyone. Now I don’t have advice for this but I know at a certain point it gets easier I’m currently at a point were I’m more comfortable with who I am and making friends has become so much easier. So start with the question when am I most comfortable? For be it was with my best friend(and her little sister), parents and cousins. So whoever I was around them was actually me because it wasn’t hard to answer questions or act weird/dorky/nerdy and all the things that you think you’ll be judged for. Basically I didn’t have to overthink everything I said or did because whatever I truly thought was ok.

Part two: Who you want to be

We all have an ideal image of who we want to be however that’s not who we are and sometimes that can change and others it can’t. Examples of this is maybe you want to be the top student in your class and get straight A’s you can change that by studying harder and making an effort however if you want to have blue eyes you can’t change that unless you wear contacts but that’s temporary. The fact that you can’t change somethings is ok because you’re limited edition and if you changed certain things you would become like someone else and not you own limited edition self . Another thing is if you become known for a certain object that’s not you so don’t centre your personality on your possessions as one of my favourite quotes from the 7 habits of highly effective teenagers (the quotes by Erich Fromm by the way) “If I am what I have and if what I have is lost, who then am I?” Another quote from this book well technically lyric but still supporting what I said about being limited edition is “Always be a first-rate version of yourself instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” Point I’m trying to make here is wanting to change who you are is good but only if it’s to be a better version of you not to be more like someone else.

Part three: Do you act like you or like someone else

Most importantly is once you know the difference between who you are and who you want to be how do you act around others. Around the people you act differently or change yourself to be more like them, stop because you have 2 options here. One you can take a shot at being yourself and you might loose friends or they may like you for you. If you do loose friends it might hurt but it’s fine because they didn’t deserve you and remember it’s not your fault because you’re amazing . Your second option is to just stop hanging out with them as much you guys can still talk but just stop hanging out as often. You will need to make a few new friends and trust me having friends of all ages is really helpful and it may be hard at first but it gets so much easier. Just remember never stay in friendships where you can’t be you or if the person is really important to you sit down and have a chat because sometimes they may actually really like who you actually are and you just misread a situation. Just remember it’s not your fault that others don’t like you for you because you are amazing just different and that’s ok.

Part four: In conclusion

· First find out who you are

· Second identify who you want to be

· Third is ask yourself if the ideal version of you is a better version of you a a version of someone else

· Next you have to be yourself around all your friends and make changes to be a better version of yourself

· Lastly never forget that there’s nothing wrong with you just because that group of “ cool” kids dislike you you’re you and it’s amazingly it’s better than being popular.(always love yourself)

Little note from me

I hope you enjoyed this blog and take advice from it . Also feel free to ask me questions at my email adiaryofanoverthinker@gmail.com if you want any advice or further info on this topic. I’m not judgemental or I try not to be so feel free to ask me anything. I’m here to help you and make you feel understood so just remember this is a safe place

Till next time

Byeee <333